Big Time Fake
by DancingFanatic217
Summary: James Diamond hates being fake. Which is why he is open about being gay. But what happens when Gustavo makes him be the exact opposite. It's bad enough that James is in love with his best friend. SLASH! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Alright this is my first fanfic so be brutal. So I'm just going to say this now, I own nothing. Absolutely nothing, except Arianna. **

**Pairings: Kendall/James and Logan/Carlos. Also minor James/OC friendship.**

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**James POV**

Ok so contrary to popular belief, I can't stand being fake. Never have never will be. I've always been true to myself. Even if it means being over-dramatic or annoying as hell. Yes there was a moment of relapse where I tried to be a "bad boy", but after thinking about I realized I was being stupid. So I've always be true to myself and no one else. Even when my parents tried to stop me.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love my parents I really do it's just they never really supported my famous dream. They always thought it was more of a fantasy or dream, than an actual career. They always said go to college and then think about your future. Which I can't say is a bad thing. When I told them I got a shot at Hollywood, they were hesitant but then agreed for my happiness. I had to call them like everyday but it's so worth it to live out this dream.

Speaking of this dream, it's time to go to work. Which I love, except when Gustavo is yelling at us. Like he is now.

"Dogs!" He yelled into the mic as we were in the studio. "Next time how about you sing in key!"

We all rolled our eyes, not even bothering to respond.

"Now get out of there I have to talk to you about something." He said.

We all got out of the booth expecting the worst.

"What is it now, Gustavo." Kendall said with annoyance.

"Watch it Kendall," He said threateningly, Kendall just rolled his eyes. "Now in Hollywood, everyone loves a celebrity couple."

"So?" Carlos asked. "What does that have to do with us?"

Gustavo pointed to Kelly who held up her Blackberry and played a message Griffin…who else.

"_Gustavo, the band needs more press. So I've decided that one of the boys should date a celebrity. So you pick the boy and I'll get the girl."_

"So there you go." Gustavo said.

"So who are you going to pick?" Logan asked.

Even though I had a feeling who was getting picked.

"James." He said bluntly.

Yep I was right.

"Since he is the only single one out of the group." He said.

It's true. Kendall is with Jo and Logan and Carlos have been together since before we even came here. I think it has been two years.

"So James I want you to meet your new girlfriend." He said gesturing to the door.

A girl around 5'6 came in. She has brown, shoulder length hair, olive skin, and these beautiful green eyes. From the clothes she's wearing, you can tell she has muscles. Which are skinny jeans, a black tank top, and knee high, high heel, black, boots.

"This is Arianna," He said. "She is one of the best professional dancers and she is only 17. So try and get to know her and not scare her off." I can tell that was threatening too.

So this beautiful girl is my new girlfriend. I'm pretty lucky except,

Did I mention that I'm gay?

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**So was it horrible? Leave a review to tell me if I should continue this! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks xXXx Angel of Death xXXx, H Kanbara M., Jilly950, and fall into your sunglight for the amazing reviews.**

**Still James's POV**

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Alright maybe I should've told you earlier, but yeah I'm gay. It's not like I'm a closet case either. I'm pretty open about it. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Mama Knight, Jo, Camille, Gustavo, Mom, Dad, and pretty much everyone except the people who don't know me. For example the fans don't know. Remember I hate faking.

I used to keep it silent though. It would eat away at me, to the point where I would literally hurt myself. That's all in the past though, now I'm out and open and proud of it.

Which is why Gustavo making me date this girl is pissing me off. Like he knows I hate faking, and here he is making me date a girl I don't know. I mean its bad enough that I have to keep quiet about my sexuality to the public, but now I have to pretend to date a girl and act straight. Yep the world is definitely against me.

"Uh Gustavo," Kendall said speaking up. "I don't think that's a good idea."

There he is, good old Kendall sticking up for me.

"It is a good idea. You want to know why?" Gustavo yelled more than asked. "Because if he doesn't then he will be FIRED!"

Of course I will.

"But Gustavo it's just-" Kendall started to say.

"But nothing," Gustavo yelled in his face. "Now back to rehearsal!"

You see Kendall is the only person who knows how far I went. How badly I'd hurt myself. He actually helped me stop and come out of the closet. This is why he's my best friend. Ok not only for that reason, but part of it. Kendall is nice, sweet, caring, headstrong, funny, smart when he wants to be, confident, strong, and not to mention beyond hot.

Ok fine if you didn't notice, I'm pretty much head over heels in love with this guy. He has always been there for me and I couldn't stop myself. It sucks to be in love with your straight, as the lines on a piece of paper, best friend. The only person who knows is Carlos. I couldn't take it anymore, so I had to tell someone and Carlos was around so I told him. I made him promise to not tell anyone, especially Logan. So far he kept his promise, and I told him years ago. I think it has been three or four years.

"Uh James?" Someone said taking me out of my trance.

"Wh-what?" I said coming to.

I saw that Arianna is right in front of me.

"Oh sorry what happened?" I asked confused.

"I don't know you just sort of zoned out there." She said smirking.

"Oh," I noticed we were the only ones in the studio. "How come we are the only ones in the studio?"

"Well Gustavo wanted us to get to know each other, so he left us alone." She said flashing a smile.

"Ok look, Arianna," I started, might as well tell the truth. "I don't like you."

Ok that came out harsher than I intended.

"Well you don't know me," She said confused and hurt. "So yeah you don't like me yet."

"No not like that," I said. "I mean I'm gay so I won't ever like you that way."

"Oh," She said a little disappointed. "Look I didn't know. All I got was a call from Griffin saying that if I don't go out with this guy he will fire me, and then I won't be able to be a background dancer for Usher, which is a huge break for me. I'm really sorry."

Now I feel really guilty.

"Whoa relax," I said calming her down. "It's alright I get it. I'm not mad ok. It's just that I hate pretending and now I'm being force to do just that."

"Yeah I get it," She said sitting down in a chair. "And it sucks, but sometimes it has to be done."

"Yeah I guess," I said sighing. "But I'm willing to try for the sake of my career…and yours."

Then she smiled again.

"So I have a question," I nodded. "Do you have a crush on anyone?"

I froze.

"Come on tell, I can keep a secret. Wait we can trade secrets, you tell me your crush and I'll tell you mine." She said.

"Fine you go first." I agreed.

"Ok well believe it or not…I have a boyfriend." She said.

"Wait you have a boyfriend and you were willing to do this?" I asked shocked.

"I knew we were going to pretend," She explained. "Besides he knows and is totally cool. Now your turn.

Shit. Oh well might as well tell the truth.

"Kendall." I said.

"Seriously?" I nodded. "Is he gay?"

"No, he has a girlfriend actually." I said upset.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetheart," She said taking my hands standing up. "But you know what? He doesn't deserve you at all. Now let's go to rehearsal."

I just nodded. She doesn't know what she's talking about. It's actually me who doesn't deserve Kendall. I probably won't ever be good enough for him. Even if he was gay, I won't ever deserve someone like Kendall. I'm not that lucky…or special.

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**So here is the second chapter. Just thank you so much for the feedback I got. **

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank Jilly950 and H Kanbara M. for the reviews.**

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So I was laying on my bed thinking about what happened today. I'm still upset about what happened, but I'll get over it. For the sake of my music career, I'll do whatever I have to do. All of the sudden I see Kendall walk in cautiously. Yeah did I mention that we share a room? Yep that just makes my crush on him to a whole new level.

"Hey James," He said sitting on the edge of my bed. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah sure," I said sitting up. "What's up?"

"Are you sure you're ok with this." He said voice full of concern.

"Yeah," I said sitting next to him. "Why?"

"It's just," He said sighing. "I know how you hate faking, and I'm worried."

"Why are you worried?" I asked.

"I'm scared you're going to start hurting yourself again." He said looking down.

"Hey, look at me," I said grabbing his chin, making him look at me. "That isn't going to happen ok."

"It's just," He said taking my hand away, while still looking at me. "When I saw you doing that, I felt like a horrible friend. Like I was never there to help you."

"I know, but I promise you that I'm done." I said.

"So when I take your arm," He said taking my arm, and revealing my scars. "The same amount of scars will be there when this all blows over. I won't find fresh ones?"

"You won't," I said putting my hand on top of his. "I promise."

"Good." He said flashing his perfect smile.

Then he pulled me into a hug. I nearly melted right there. When we pulled apart he looked into me eyes.

"You're my best friend James, and I hate seeing you hurt," He said softly. "So if you're hurting inside please come to me."

"Kendall," I said grinning. "You will be the first person I'll go to."

"Glad to hear that," He said smiling. "Well I have to meet Jo by the pool."

That simple statement made my heart drop. Seeing him with her hurts like you can't even imagine. I don't get what he sees in her. I mean come on; she lied to him the first time they met. Even though that happened, he is still crazy about her. I don't get it. Although it hurts, I'm not going back into my old ways. I promised Kendall I won't, and I intend to keep that promise.

I walked into the living room to find only Carlos there. Good, I need to talk to him.

"Hey Carlos," I said getting his attention. "Can we talk?"

"Sure buddy," He said patting the seat next to him. "Sit down."

"Are we alone?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"Yep," He said. "Kendall is with Jo, Mama K is out shopping, and Logan is tutoring Katie by the pool."

"Good." I said sighing.

"So what do you want to talk about?" He asked concerned.

"Its just I'm starting to get fed up." I said sadly.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"This whole thing with Kendall," I said him nodding. "Why can't I have what you and Logan have? I mean you guys are perfect for each other."

"But we're complete opposites." He said confused.

"That's why you guys work," I said. "I mean you and Logan are inseparable and you guys keep getting closer. And here I am crushing on someone who will never feel the same."

"Hey you never know." He said shoving me playfully.

"I do know actually." I said, my hands becoming more interesting. "It just pisses me off that I'm stupid enough to fall for someone who is straight."

"James, you're not stupid. Stop thinking like that or you'll start falling back into your old ways. Please don't do that again." Carlos said worried.

"Carlos, don't worry. I already promised you guys I wouldn't. It was stupid and quite painful actually." I said trying to lite up the mood.

"Yeah it was and that's good to hear," He said smiling. "And by the way, you will find that guy who appreciates you. It doesn't have to be Kendall, and even if it is, he has to appreciate you and treat you right."

"Thanks Carlos I needed that," I said getting up. "By the way why do you keep mentioning Kendall, he's straight remember?"

"Sorry I didn't notice." He said quickly.

"Oh ok, I'm going out. See you later." I said walking out the door.

I left so fast I didn't hear what Carlos said as I left.

**Carlos POV**

If only James knew. It would make life a whole lot easier.

"I keep mentioning Kendall because he loves you but is in denial about it." I said as James left.

I doubt he heard me though. By the Kendall looks at him and stands up for him, it's pretty obvious that Kendall is in love with James. So I don't get why he is leading Jo on. Someone is going to get hurt and I have a feeling it won't be her.

"Hey babe I'm back." Logan said walking in.

He gave me a sweet kiss and sat next to me. He put his arm around me and I snuggled into his shoulder. Now I got what James meant, but he could have this if Kendall wasn't stupid. Sometimes I wish I can lock them both in a closet until they admit their feeling. That won't work since James is claustrophobic and Kendall would never talk to me again. Fuck, why is this so damn complicated.

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**Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry if Carlos was a bit OOC. **

**Review! =)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks H Kanbara M., unthinkable13, Jilly950, fall into your sunglight, and animeyaoimaster for the reviews.**

**A/N: Story is placed after Big Time Concert btw**

**James POV**

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I woke up to find Kendall walking out of our bathroom in nothing but a towel around his waist. Of course this happens to me.

"Hey, James." He said walking towards his dresser.

"Hey Ken," I said getting trying to hide my hard on. "You done with the shower?"

"Yep, all yours." He said not looking at me…thank god.

I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could. As soon as I got in, I locked the door. As I got in the shower, I tried to will this damn boner down. It went down eventually, but it's so damn annoying that this happens all the time. When I got out of the shower, I saw that Kendall was gone. So I got dressed in peace. When I walked out of my room, I was shocked to find the Arianna was in the living room talking the Mrs. Knight.

"Hey Arianna," I said walking into the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey James," She said getting up. "Gustavo called me saying that I'm going to be your new choreographer and to get you guys to the studio."

Ok that I didn't see coming.

"Oh that's cool." I didn't know what else to say.

"He also told me that we have to go out tonight." She said timidly.

"Wait, what?" I asked quickly.

"Well Gustavo said that we need to be out and open. So he said that after rehearsal we have to go out together." She said sadly.

"Hey it's alright, it's not like you planned this." I said comforting. I was mad but not at her.

"Thanks, so where do you want to go tonight?" She asked brightly.

"I don't care your pick." I said.

"Alright," She said. "Let's get to rehearsal."

Somehow I have a feeling that this isn't going to be easy…and boy was I right. Arianna is one of the toughest choreographers I have ever seen, even worse than Mr. X. When rehearsal ended, all four of us collapsed on the floor. It was about four and we were exhausted. Plus I had to go out tonight. Oh joy.

"Was I too hard on you guys?" Arianna asked apologetically

Where was this sympathy in rehearsal?

"No we're fine," Logan said trying to sit up. "Ow…"

"Sorry but if I want to get you ready for your tour then we have a lot of work to do." She said.

"Yeah we heard this speech before." Carlos said harshly.

"Want to repeat that again, Carlos." She said crossing her arms.

"Sorry." Carlos said hiding behind Logan.

"Good," She said uncrossing her arms. "Well you guys can go and James I'll see you around seven for the appearance"

"Yeah, sure." I mumbled unenthusiastically.

She shot me an apologetic face. I waved it off so she'll know that it's fine. I could also see my friends have worried faces too. I flashed them a smile for reassurance.

When we got back to the Palmwoods, I started getting ready for the "date". I quickly showered and tried to pick out the perfect outfit. Hey, if the paparazzi is going to be there I wanted to look good. I decided to wear a dark red, button up, shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows, and the first to buttons un-buttoned. With that I have my black skinny jeans with my black van canvas. I fixed my hair and checked myself in the mirror. I got to admit…I look hot!

"What do you think?" I asked walking out of the room.

"Damn James," Carlos said getting up. "You look hot! I swear you look like you actually want this date."

"Hey it's good press," I said. "Besides if there are going to be cameras then I got to look good."

"Well James you definitely look good…amazing even." Kendall said standing next to Carlos.

"Wow, thanks Kendall." I said blushing.

I could see Carlos rolling his eyes.

"Anyway," He said breaking the silence. "You look hot. I would date you."

"Hey back off," Logan said jokingly, wrapping his arms around Carlos from behind. "This one's mine."

"Wouldn't dream of it." I said putting my hands up.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Well that must be her." I said.

I opened the door and I was right, it was Arianna. She was wearing a dark purple, low cut, dress that ended mid thigh. With it she wore black ripped leggings and her, infamous, black, knee high, boots. Her, almost black, hair was left straight but side parted, making her bangs more noticeable. She didn't wear too much make up. Just eyeliner, mascara, smoky eye shadow, and clear lip gloss. She look stunning. Not that I'm attracted to her, I'm just saying she looks beautiful.

"Wow Ari, you look great." I said.

"Ari?" She asked raising her eyebrow.

"I don't know a nick name I guess." I explained quickly.

"Whatever," She said rolling her eyes and walking in. "Here's what's going to happen. We go in ask for an outside table. If the paparazzi arrive we pretend to act annoyed. We act all couplely and laugh a lot. After we're done, we take a cab to my apartment but keep it running when we get out. You take me to the door and give me a hug. You don't have to kiss me or anything just hug. Got it?"

"Yeah I think so." I said confused. Wow this date is going to be stressful.

"Great now lets go." She said about to leave.

I can see my friends shocked with her attitude, hell I am even shocked. She is usually so nice and bubbly, but now she is angry and bitter.

"Whoa before we go," I said grabbing her arm. "What the hell is up?"

"What do you mean?" She asked annoyed.

"Well why are you acting like such a bitch?" I asked equally annoyed.

"No I'm not." She said defensively.

"Yeah you are." The guys said.

"Sorry. It's just my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight and Griffin threatened that if this date doesn't go well my dance career is over. I'm sorry guys." She said apologetically.

"It's alright lets just get this over with." I said smiling.

She just smiled and we left. The date went pretty well. The paparazzi did find us but we didn't care. She's actually a good listener and so am I…when I want to be. Basically we vented to each other. It felt good, it really did. I did everything she told me and it was a success. I have to say I'm proud of myself. When I came back it was about ten, and all the guys were watching TV.

"Hey guys." I said collapsing on the bed.

"Hey dude how was the date?" Carlos asked.

"It was good she is actually pretty cool." I said smiling.

"You're not turning straight on us now are you?" Logan asked sarcastically.

"Haha sorry but no," I said playfully punching his shoulder. "I'm still gay, in fact I'm pretty sure I was flirting with our waiter."

"Do I smell a future boyfriend?" Carlos asked playfully.

"Nah I don't think he's my type." I said.

"Well what is your type?" Kendall asked speaking up.

"I guess a guy who is nice and sweet." I said.

"That it?" He asked moving closer to me.

I nodded off to Carlos and Logan hoping they get the hint. They did and left quietly.

"No," I said moving closer also. "I also like guys who are athletic, caring, and protects the people he loves."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah pretty much…what's your type?" I asked.

He looked down ashamed.

"James can I tell you something?" He asked quietly.

"Sure Ken anything."

"James…I'm bi." He said timidly.

I think my dream just came true. If this is a dream I hope I don't wake up. I pinched myself, unseen; to find out I wasn't dreaming.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah pretty much," He said. "I just thought you should know since we were friends first, and I know I can trust me, and if your freaked out I understand-"

"Kendall," I said putting my finger in front of his lips. "It ok I'm glad you told me."

He smiled against my finger.

"Thanks James, that means a lot." He said when I took my finger away.

"What I'm here for." I said smiling also.

"Well I'm going to take a shower." He said getting up.

"Have fun." I said getting up also. "Don't drown."

"Fuck you dude." He said.

"You wish." I said walking into the bedroom.

I was so happy with what happened I actually started hearing things. I thought I heard Kendall say I do. Haha yeah right.

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**Chapter four! By the way, someone said something about thanks for mentioning them above, I do that because I want you all to know how much I appreciate you guys and how much reviews mean to me. Also people who favorite me or alert me also means a lot too. **

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks fall into your sunglightfor, LordTai, 1mad9026, unthinkable13, H Kanbara M., FirstLadyJonas, and OnlyOne6, for the reviews.**

**James POV**

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Again, I woke up to Kendall half naked. Really does he time these things?

"Ok Kendall," I said sitting up on my bed. "Why is it every time I wake up you're only in a towel?"

"What?" He said smiling. "Are you saying you don't like this wonderful body?"

"No." I said getting out of my bed, smiling also. "Just saying, it's weird."

"So you do like my body." He said moving closer, smirking.

Ok now this is getting awkward and uncomfortable.

"I never said that either." I said nervously.

"Ok now you're offending me." He said moving even closer, still smirking.

I'm backed against my bed and Kendall right in front of me. Oh god Kendall, please don't look down. Well he can't since he has to look up to talk to me(1). Thank god for height.

"Sorry?" I didn't know what to say.

"I don't know if I should forgive you." He said shoving my playfully.

"I think you should." I said shoving him back just as playfully.

He shoved me back once more and made me lose my balance. As I fell back on my bed, I grabbed Kendall's hand for balance. That didn't work since he just fell on top of me. He picked himself up right above me with his hands on both sides of my head. You know I never noticed how gorgeous his eyes were. We were just looking into each others eyes now.

So in case you forgot, Kendall and I are on my bed. He's above me with only a towel on. Right now he's moving closer to my face. Wait what? Shit he's about to kiss me. Yes! Only a little closer Kendall. I lift my head up, and we are about to kiss when this happens.

"Boys!" I heard Mrs. Knights voice. "Breakfast!"

That just made Kendall freeze. Oh you have got to be kidding me. So close. Then he suddenly got off me.

"Sorry." He mumbled quickly before getting his clothes and running into the bathroom.

We were so damn close. He smelled so good and he his hair was wet and shaggy. Fuck my life like seriously. What ever this shit happens. I grabbed my clothes and boxers and went to the hallway bathroom.

"Breakfast James?" Mrs. Knight asked as I walked past her.

"Later Mrs. Knight, I going to shower first." I said.

"Alright well it will be here when you get out." She said smiling sweetly.

"Thanks." I said smiling back.

When I got into the shower, I couldn't stop thinking about Kendall and I in the bedroom. We were about to kiss, so freaking close. If Mrs. Knight didn't say anything, it would of happened. I have to tell Carlos…or Arianna. I'll tell them both…at the same time, yeah that should work. I don't know if I can last through the whole rehearsal with out telling someone. Wait I'll tell them before.

Great now it's going to be awkward with Kendall and I. This day keeps getting better doesn't it. When I got out of the shower to eat, I was right about Kendall and I. He would barely look at me. Carlos gave me a look, but I shot him a look saying 'Tell you later'. He understood and just nodded.

When we got into the limo, Kendall still wouldn't talk _or_ look at me. It's like I had a super contagious disease that he's afraid of catching. I mean like what could he catch? Gay? Come on it's not a disease here. You're just born that way.

When we got to the studio, I immediately went to Arianna, who strangely had her right wrist wrapped.

"Hey can I talk to you and Carlos before rehearsal?" I asked her urgently.

"Yeah sure." She said.

When we all got into the dance studio, Arianna did what I asked.

"Uh James, Carlos," She said getting our attention. "Can I talk to you two outside?"

We both nodded. I knew what was going on so I just got up. Carlos didn't so he just shot a confused look but obeyed. Afraid if he talked back she would give him that look again. I saw him shudder at the memory.

"So what's going on?" Carlos asked when got outside the room.

"I don't know, James just asked if he could talk to us out here." She explained.

"So she knows?" He asked me.

"Yep told her everything." I said.

"Alright so what did you want to talk about?" Arianna asked.

I told them everything that happened last night and this morning.

"Now he is avoiding me like the plague." I finished.

"Well maybe he's freaked out," Carlos started. "I mean maybe he needs to figure things out, I mean it is Kendall."

"And maybe that you're his first guy crush and he's scared." Arianna finished.

"This is Kendall, he never gets scared." I said.

"He was scared when you were in the hospital, he was scared when he caught you hurting yourself, and he was scared when his dad died." Carlos explained.

"How come two of those had to deal with me?" I asked. "I mean you and Logan were in the hospital at some point also."

"Because we weren't in the hospital for lack of eating!" I exclaimed.

Of course he had to bring that up. It was a phase alright.

"Wait, What?" Arianna exclaimed.

"It was a phase and I'm over it." I explained.

"Yeah so James," Carlos interrupted. "Kendall does care about you a lot. I mean everyone can tell."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes get it through that hair sprayed skull of yours," Carlos said taking my shoulders. "Kendall likes you!"

"Yeah, I have to agree with Carlos James," Arianna added. "I mean I've seen the way he looks at you. Plus the way he defended you when Gustavo introduced me, Kendall likes you…a lot."

"Well I got to think." I said walking.

Is what they said true? What if it isn't?

**Carlos POV**

"Is what you said true?" Arianna asked me when James left.

"Yeah, James went through some rough times." I said sadly

"You think Kendall is going to make a move?" She asked.

"I hope so Ari, I hope so." I said walking back into the studio.

Wait hold on.

"Hey Arianna." I said getting her attention.

"Yeah?"

"Why is your wrist wrapped?" I asked pointing at her wrist.

"Oh I fell during a routine I was doing." She said quickly.

"Oh, but you're ok right?" I asked concerned.

"Yep totally fine," She said quickly again. "Let's go rehearse."

She almost ran back into the studio. Ok that was weird.

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**1) Ok I had to add that. People usually forget that James is taller than Kendall**

**There was chapter five, hope you like it! Oh by the way I'm going on vacation so I won't update a lot this week.**

**Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks fall into your sunglight, H Kanbara M., Demon'sAngel17, Jistone, Fairywolf, FirstLadyJonas, OnlyOne6, and Fang lover23 for awesome the reviews.**

**James POV**

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I woke up the next day to realize that no one is in the apartment except Kendall. At least he as clothes on this time.

"Hey Ken," I said sitting next to him on the couch. "Where is everyone?"

"Mom and Katie went shopping and Logan is in the park with Carlos."

"Well it's quiet, I say we make the most of it." I said smirking.

"Alright," He said turning to me. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really." I lied horribly.

Why do I suck at lying. I mean really.

"You're lying." He said concerned.

"I know." I sighed.

"James, what's wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing important." I said trying to change the subject.

"No I'm not going to except that." He said determined. "You said if anything is bothering you, you'd come and talk to me."

"I know but-" I tried to say.

"No tell me." He said even more persistently.

Maybe I can ask for advice without telling him that it's him I love. Yeah that could work.

"Well there's this guy I like," I started. "I really like him actually, except I don't know if he likes me back. We're really close too. I do know he likes guys though. It's just hard because I don't know if he feels the same way, and if he doesn't things can be extremely awkward. Can you help?"

"Sure buddy," He said turning to me fully. "If you truly like him, then I say go for it. There is nothing standing in your way right?"

"Actually he's with someone." I said shyly.

"That does pose as a problem," He said. "Then confront him. Say stuff like him giving you mixed signals and what's going on. If you confront him, but not tell him you like him, you will get the answer,"

"And if he doesn't like me back?" I asked shyly again.

"Then his loss, don't beat yourself over it ok." He said playfully punching my arm.

"Thanks Kendall." I said somewhat relieved.

"So may I ask who the lucky guy is?" Kendall asked smirking.

Oh shit!

"Uh…well…" I stuttered.

"Come on tell me!" I insisted.

"Well…it's-" I started.

"Hey guys we're back!" Carlos shouted as he and Logan entered.

"Oh hey guys." I said quickly getting off the couch.

"Where are Knight and Katie?" Logan asked.

"They're somewhere, some place." Kendall said getting up also, a little disappointed.

"I think we should make the most of the absence." Carlos said smirking.

"You and Logan are not having sex while we're here." I said jokingly.

Logan started blushing big time.

"No," Carlos said putting his arm around Logan. "We already did that anyway."

"Carlos!" Logan exclaimed embarrassed.

"Dude way too much info." Kendall said.

"Besides," I said. "I thought you were at the park."

"Yeah we weren't." Carlos smiled proudly.

"Anyways, I think he meant some truth or dare." Logan said recovering from extreme embarrassment.

"I'm down." I said.

"So am I." Kendall said.

"Alright everyone in a circle." Carlos announced.

We all got into a circle on the floor.

"Alright Kendall," Carlos said getting his attention. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" Kendall said proudly.

"I dare you to…attempt to do Logan and James' back flip." He said grinning

Yeah Kendall cannot do one for his life. He sighed and got up. He tried…but failed terribly. He didn't kill himself though.

"Never again!" He said frustrated.

We all laughed.

"Alright Logan," Kendall said. "Truth or Dare."

"Ok I'm kind of scared what you're going to make me do so truth." Logan said playing it safe, typical.

"Alright…what is the kinkiest thing you and Carlos have ever done?" Kendall asked with a smirk.

I swear he is such a pervert at times.

"Uh well, one time we…decided to have some fun with whipped cream and chocolate syrup…" He said shyly.

Kendall and I started laughing hysterical while Carlos and Logan just turned red.

"Alright whatever," Logan said trying to change the subject. "Uh James truth or dare?"

"Dare." I said proudly.

"Fine," He said, I caught him sneaking a glance a Carlos. Oh no this can't be good. "I dare to…kiss Kendall for one minute."

No fucking way, did Carlos tell him? I swear if he did he's a dead man. I saw Kendall's face and saw that it was beet red.

"James, are you going to turn your back on a dare?" Carlos asked sarcastically.

I really hate him right now.

"No," I said defensively. "I-I'll do it."

Carlos got out his phone and put the timer on.

"Ok when I say go, kiss alright?" Carlos explained.

We just nodded.

"Go!" Carlos said.

Kendall and I looked at each other, both kind of nervous. We slowly moved closer to each other. I could feel his breath on my face, we were so close. Then, all of the sudden, our lips touched.

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**Sorry took so long! I was on vacation and when I got back I then had to write the chapter. Hope you like it!**

**Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks OnlyOne6, H Kanbara M., fall into your sunglight, unthinkable13, Demon'sAngel17, and The Savage Soul for the reviews.**

**James POV**

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Time just stopped for me, I don't know about Kendall, but for me it has. I can't believe this happened. Kendall and I are actually kissing. I haven't heard Carlos, or Logan, tell us stop. I bet they left, those bastards. I don't care though; right now I am in heaven. Unfortunately, air is needed so we slowly pulled a part.

"Wow." I whispered looking into his eyes.

"Yeah," He said looking back. "Wow."

"Where are Carlos and Logan?" I asked, never tearing apart from his beautiful eyes.

"I don't know and strangely I don't care." He said smirking.

"So where are Mama K and Katie?" I asked not really caring.

"Shopping." He said.

"Good." I said claiming his lips again.

He didn't pull apart. His lips feel amazing against mine. I really am in love with this guy. Suddenly he just pulled away. What's going on?

"This is wrong." He said as he pulled away.

"Why?" I asked upset.

"Because I'm with Jo and what about that guy you like?" He asked as he got off the floor.

"That guy I like is you dummy." I said getting up also.

"No it can't." He said walking away.

"Why can't it?" I asked pulling his arm

"Because I'm straight," He said bluntly. "I'm supposed to be the whole package. I'm supposed to be the leader of our band. I'm supposed to be perfect."

"What does me liking you have to do with any of that?" I asked. "Well besides you being straight, which I doubt considering what just happened."

"Because I will only just break your heart." He said with tears in his eyes.

"Why do you say that?" I asked confused.

"That's just who I am," He said sadly. "I do and say things without thinking; I will hurt you without even knowing. I don't want to do that to you, and I don't want to be reason you go back into your old ways."

"You were part of the reason I did it in the first place!" I said frustrated.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I did because I was hiding about being gay, but I was also hurting myself because I thought I could never have you." I said getting upset also.

"James," He started still confused. "Why would you do that? I'm not worth it."

"Don't you get it?" I asked grabbing his shoulders. "I love you Kendall ok? I'm in love with you, so in love that it hurts to see you everyday. Especially with Jo, seeing you so happy with her kills me. Ok so please tell me that I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life."

He was silent. Kind of like he was in shock. Though he wouldn't say anything, just staring at me.

"Kendall please," I begged. "Say, or do, something!"

"I can't James." He said sadly.

"What do you mean you can't?" I asked confused.

"I can't be with you." He said with tears.

Then, without another word, he just left. I seriously think my heart is now dead. Why can't he? I don't get it. Am I just that revolting? That ugly or horrible? All these questions just build up inside me.

You know what, fuck it! I know I promised Kendall but I can't take it. Besides he already broke my heart, why should I keep it? Great now I'm crying. What hasn't Kendall done? Next thing I know, I grab Katie's butterfly clip off the counter and get a box of matches. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I lit up the match and held it under the clip. Once it got hot enough, blew out the match. Then, just like I used to, I pressed the clip to my arm. Shit, I forgot it hurt, but it feels good. Feels like I'm letting out all my anger. I took the clip away and revealed the new burn.

Yep that's right, I'm a burner.

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**Alright too short? **

**Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks Demon'sAngel17, Fang lover23, H Kanbara M., itsfouramforever, fall into your sunglight, The Savage Soul, OnlyOne6, unthinkable13, What a Bitch, and Music4ever1617 for the reviews.**

**James POV**

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I woke up feeling groggy and in pain. I feel like someone repeatedly stabbed my arm over and over again. I looked at my arm and saw a reminder of last night. On my arm were two, new, fresh, burn marks. I sat up in bed and just looked at them, occasionally feeling them. Why did I do that again? I thought I told myself never again will I do this.

I tried to think back to last night. Then it all hit me, like someone decided to hit me with a crowbar. Of course my self-harming came back to Kendall freaking Knight! Just like it started from the beginning.

As I looked around the room, I saw it was empty. Thank god, I can't handle seeing Kendall now. I went into our bathroom and got ready for the day. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and got dressed. We had rehearsal today. Maybe I can ask Arianna for advice.

When I walked out of the room, the guys were on the couch playing video games. Of course Kendall was getting really into it. He was always the competitive one out of all of us. The reason why he was the captain of our hockey team.

"Boys breakfast!" Shouted Mrs. Knight from the kitchen. "Katie, come on time to eat."

Just then a groggy Katie walked out. She was never a morning person. When Kendall walked past me I refused to make eye contact with him. He saw that and gave an apologetic look. I just responded with a glare.

We ate in an awkward silence. No one talked, well Carlos tried but it just didn't work out. Kendall and I just sat in silence. I can tell everyone noticed but they didn't say anything, and I'm quite grateful for that.

On the way to Roque Records, I sat the farthest away from Kendall as I could. I know Kelly was confused, because she said this.

"What happened now guys?" She asked innocently.

"I don't know," I spoke for the first time that day. "How about you ask the guy that can't commit to anything, and is the biggest hypocrite of this whole damn band!"

"No," Kendall said speaking up." How about you ask the drama queen?"

"Oh I'm the drama queen?" I exclaimed. "I'm not the one who freaked out like the world was ending!"

"Well that's how guys usually react when another guy kisses them!" Kendall exclaimed.

"You weren't complaining at first." I said.

"I was caught up in the moment!" Kendall said trying to defend himself…failing though. I'm going to win the argument.

"What moment?" I asked frustrated. "Playing truth or dare?"

"You know what I mean!"

"No I don't. Why don't explain it to me?"

"GUYS!" Logan and Carlos yelled. Kendall and I stopped yelling and looked at the couple.

"Will you please stop fighting?" Carlos pleaded innocently.

I immediately felt guilty, even though it's not my fault. If Kendall wants to be immature, then so be it.

"I'm sorry Carlos," I apologized. "I'm also sorry for Kendall's behavior."

"My behavior?" Kendall exclaimed. "You're the one who is over-reacting."

"Me?" I exclaimed beyond pissed. "Oh wow this is rich. You're the one that had a mini panic attack. You're the one who ran out like a scared baby."

"I freaked out because some guy kissed me, do you not get it!" He yelled.

"So I'm just some guy now?" I asked hurt.

"James you were always some guy," He said. "You're acting like we're together but we're not, nor will we ever be. So get that through your school. Besides, why would I ever go for a FAG like you?"

Ok that hurt, that really hurt. He has never said anything like that to me. He has never said anything like that to anyone. I don't know who this Kendall is. As soon as the limo stops, I run out crying. Why does Kendall have to be such an ass?

I stop at a wall behind the studio and slide down it. I bring my knees up to my chest and I just cry, just cry. I take out the clip and lighter out, to help relieve my pain. I heated up the clip and pressed it against my wrist. I felt insane pain but soon I got relief.

"James?" I heard a female voice say.

I looked up and saw Jo standing in front of me concerned and shocked. I guess her studio is right next to ours. I saw her mouth drop.

"Oh James," She dropped down in front of me and took my wrist. "How long?"

I don't answer, I just look away.

"James," She said taking my head and making me look at her. "Tell me."

"It started back at home," I started, then I told her what happened up until now (Minus the Kendall part). "Then I don't know I got really depressed and it was my only escape."

"Oh James," She said sadly. "I know we aren't close, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. You are such a sweet guy ok? And whoever doesn't see that is an idiot."

No matter what I've said about Jo, she really is a nice girl. I never really hated her, I just hated what she had. She is just so caring, just looking her makes me want to die. She doesn't deserve this. I have to tell her something. I might get hated, or even hit, but I don't care. She deserves to know.

"Jo," I started finally looking at her on my own. "I have to tell you something."

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**Cliff hanger! You probably hate me for that since I haven't updated in forever. I'm really sorry about that. Things have gotten so crazy. Between school and practice as killed me. Not to mention because of all that, I've had so pretty bad writers block. Luckily, something recently happened so I got inspiration to write this. Don't be mad!**

**Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks unthinkable13, Demon'sAngel117, OnlyOne6, The Savage Soul, Music4ever1617, UnderworldChick-n-VMKPirate, fall into your sunlight, HateWaitLove, H Kanbara M., Pained Past97, and Ranorexic for the amazing reviews.**

**James POV**

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"James," She said giving me a concerned look. "You know you can tell me anything, I won't judge."

I just nodded. This is, honestly, harder than I thought.

"Jo," I started terrified. "I-I'm in love w-with…Kendall."

I expected to be hit, punched, or yelled at. Instead I was met with the same concerning eyes.

"James," She said with a soft smile. "You really thought that I would be mad?"

I nodded again.

"Oh James," She said hugging me. "You can't help who you love, it just happens."

Then I broke down. I started crying and going into a rant of what happened last night and in the limo. She just listened, she didn't stop me or interrupt me, she just sat there and listened. I think though, when I told her what Kendall said to me before, her eyes darkened with anger. I just think.

"I'm so sorry Jo," I said still crying. "I'm so sorry. I'm stupid and I know it was stupid to try and kiss him again. I understand if you hate me or think less of me. I'm just really sorry."

"James stop," She said. "I don't hate you or think less of you. I'm not even mad ok, well no ok I am mad. Not at you though. I'm mad at Kendall."

"No please don't be mad at him." I pleaded. "It was all my fault."

"No James I am mad at him." She said bluntly. "Instead of handling the situation maturely, he ran scared. The only reason I'm not going to yell at him is because he didn't say anything offensive."

Crap I forgot. I didn't tell her that Kendall called me a f- I can't even at the word. I didn't say anything, I just nodded.

"He didn't say anything offensive right?" She asked.

"Uh nope, he didn't." I lied, badly if I might add.

"James, what else did he say?" She asked again.

"Nothing." I said not looking at her eyes.

James!" She said making me look at her. "Tell me!"

I sighed.

"He called me a-a…fag." I said quietly.

"What?" She said not understanding.

"A fag." I said a little louder.

Jo didn't say anything. She just got up and walked off angry.

"Jo wait stop." I said getting up also.

She was already a couple over steps ahead of me though. I tried to stop her from doing something she'll regret. It was too late though. When I finally caught up with her, she has already given Kendall a big slap to the face. I just stood there shocked, too scared to go up to them. I hid behind the closest wall I could find.

"How could you Kendall!" Jo screamed at him.

"Do what?" He yelled back holding his cheek.

"Do that to James!" She said with anger.

Why Jo, why bring me into this?

"Do what to James?" Kendall said still confused.

"Say what you said in the limo," She started putting her hands on her hips. "He told all about what happened before AND last night."

"Look Jo," He started in a panic. "Last night meant nothing ok?"

"I don't care that it happened," She said annoyed. "James told me he was sorry so it's all good. How you handled it however, I'm pissed. I thought you would treat your friends better than that no matter what. Especially since Logan and Carlos are together."

"Look I'm sorry ok?" Kendall said.

"Ok first of all," She said getting really mad. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me, but to James. Actually I'm pretty surprised you didn't go after him after he ran out of the limo CRYING!"

Kendall looked really guilty after she said that.

"So…are we over?" He asked quietly.

"Kendall," She said quietly. "We are but not because of this. We were over a long time ago but for the reason that you're in love with someone else. Unfortunately, you don't realize it yet."

"No I'm not!" He said angrily. "I only want you; I don't want to lose you."

"Kendall, you're about to lose someone a lot more important if you don't realize that you are." She said.

"Who?" He asked frustrated.

"I can't tell you," She said. "But now you need to go and apologize to James now. Not later, he would probably do more damage then."

"What do you mean?" Kendall said more alert.

"I caught him-" I cut her off with my hand covering hers after running towards her.

"Jo," I said quickly. "I need to show that thing that is behind that wall."

I pulled her behind the wall I was hiding behind.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Defending you." She said as if it was obvious.

"No, I meant about what you were about to say." I almost yelled.

"James," She started. "They deserve to know."

"They did know, but I told them that I wouldn't do it again." I explained.

"James," She putting her hand on my arm. "Do you have any idea how dangerous burning yourself can be."

"Look I know. I did this all before ok; I stopped before so I can stop now. Now don't tell the guys I started again. Please?" I pleaded.

"James I-" She started.

"Please?" I interrupted.

"…Fine but I don't like it." She gave in.

"Thank you Jo!" I said hugging her. "Thank you so much!"

"Yeah you're welcome," She said. "Now go back out there, someone owes you an apology."

I groaned.

"I think I'm going to get more of an earful than an apology." I said rolling my eyes.

"Just go," She said pointing towards the hallway. "I have to get back to the studio."

"Alright bye," I said giving her one last hug. "Thanks for listening."

"What I'm here for." She said smiling before walking off.

I looked around the corner and saw…that Kendall wasn't there. It's just Logan and Carlos just sitting against the wall.

"Ugh hey guys," I said getting their attention. "Uh where's Kendall?"

"James, I'm so sorry." Carlos said hugging me out of nowhere.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked hugging back.

"For everything that happened," Logan answered. "We feel terrible."

"Don't guys, its fine," I said breaking away from Carlos's death hug. "But where's Kendall?"

"He's in the dance studio." Carlos said.

"Alright thanks." I said

I went inside the room before they can stop me. I saw Kendall sitting up against the wall. He has his elbow against his knee, while his other leg is just stretched out, and he is just staring off into space.

"Kendall?" I said timidly getting his attention.

He gave me a sad look, and gestured for me to sit next to him. I sat right next to him, he put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry James," He apologized rubbing my shoulder with his hand. "I didn't mean any of those things I said. I regret it completely."

"It's ok," I said smiling. "I'm also sorry for telling Jo."

"Yeah speaking of," He said taking his arm away. I looked up at him confused. "What was she talking about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I said covering up. "But I'm really sorry for everything, you probably hate me."

"James I could never hate you." He said putting his arm around me again.

"Alright good," I said putting my head on his shoulder again. "I'm too pretty to be hated."

Kendall chuckled and smiled. Finally things are good again. No more problems…just peace.

"James, let me see you wrist."

Shit!

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**Again sorry for the delay. School and everything is getting to be so crazy. At least I updated before the year ended. Speaking of what is everyone's New Year Resolutions? Mine is to not let people bring me down and to stand up for myself more. On that note…Happy New Year!**

**Review! =)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks Bigtimebitch, The Savage Soul, KorreySmithson06, fall into your sunlight, Music4ever1617, unthinkable13, Sir RCCS, Demon'sAngel17, aime lire, All About Us, DarkRoseThorn, Michelle550, HateWaitLove for the reviews.**

**BTW: Can you guys please check out the authors note at the end of the chapter!**

**James POV**

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Crap what should I do? Wait, I didn't make new ones one the same arm as my old ones…perfect! I lifted up my sleeve on my left arm to show him no new scars.

"I told you Kendall," I started lying. "I stopped."

Kendall just looked at me with a blank expression. I started to get scared. Does he believe me at all?

"Let me see your other arm." He said seriously.

Fuck!

"There's nothing there." I said panicking.

"If there's nothing there then you won't have trouble showing me then." He said seriously again.

I just stayed silent. I have no idea what to do or how to get out of this situation.

"James." He said staring at me.

I just decided to tell the truth. I sighed and started lifted my right sleeve, there was three burn marks. I heard Kendall gasp and felt him grasp my wrist.

"James," He said defeated. "You promised me you'd stop."

I just stayed silent, just looking at the floor.

"Please James," He pleaded. "Why?"

Again, I just stayed silent.

"Please tell me it's not because of me." He said with desperation in his voice.

Just silent.

"Oh my god James." He said hugging me.

I hugged him back with tears in my eyes…why do I feel so guilty?

"I'm so sorry James," Kendall cried, his voice cracking. "Please forgive me, please. Hit me, yell, scream, do anything. Just please stop this and forgive me."

"I do Kendall," I said, finding my voice. "Just please stop hurting me."

"I will," Kendall said breaking the hug. "I promise I'll stop."

Then something amazing happened. Kendall kissed me! Not on the cheek or head, but on my lips. After a few seconds of shock, I quickly kissed back. When we pulled away, I was in heaven. Though, one question was haunting me.

"So is this for real or are you going to run away like last time?" I asked timidly.

Kendall smiled softly.

"It's for real James," He kissed me again. "I fell for you James, I fell hard."

"Seriously?" I asked in disbelief.

"Seriously." He smiled again. "I love you, James."

He did not just say that. I tackled him to the ground and kissed again.

"I love you too, Kendall." I said grinning.

"Whoa guys," A voice said ruining the moment. "I'm pretty sure Gustavo wouldn't like it if you had sex on the floor of his studio."

I got off Kendall to see it was Carlos.

"No to mention Arianna would be beyond pissed also." Logan said putting his arm around Carlos.

"You guys really know how to ruin a moment." Kendall said getting up, and helping me up also.

"Hey it's our job." Carlos said grinning.

Finally things are right. I'm with Kendall and I already don't have the urge to burn. Everything is falling into place, until when Kelly came running telling us that Arianna is in the hospital.

…Wait what?

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**Sorry it's short, but I kind of like it like that. Tell me if it's bad though.**

**A/N: Ok I noticed something while roaming fanfiction the other day. Someone, I'm not saying who, stole a story idea. I'm not overreacting or anything like that. This person reviewed saying how much they loved my story and stuff, and then wrote the exact same thing but changed a few words. I do NOT accept plagiarizing ok, when read that I was taken back by the fact that I wrote this before. It was in the same POV and everything.**

**I'm sorry if I'm acting like a bitch or something like that, but I was mad that someone plagiarized my work. I work hard on my stories and on each chapter I write, I put so much thought in them. Personally, I think every author deserves some respect on some level unless they plagiarize. **

**Alright sorry for my little rant, I just had to get that off my chest.**

**Now that that's over…Review? =)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks Demon'sAngel17, Magiccatprinces, unthinkable13, Sir RCCS, fall into your sunlight, aime lire, Music4ever1617, DarkRoseThorn, KorreySmithson06, HateWaitLove, YAOI addicted Kat, French Beauty 1, SixOfSpades, The Devil Inside, AlvinBrittanyLove1, and EvilGeniusBookWorm13 for the amazing reviews.**

**James POV**

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Alright so it wasn't as bad as I thought. Of course though, the doctors couldn't tell us (Us being Logan, Carlos, Kelly, and I…Gustavo had to stay in the studio) that when I was pacing back and forth freaking out. Arianna's injuries weren't life threatening or anything, but they might be career threatening. She has a concussion, a broken collar bone, and a dislocated knee. What I am really wondering and I'm sure I'm not the only one, is how this happened?

"You all can see her now." The doctor said coming out of her room.

I didn't know what to expect when I walked in there. I guess I was expecting the worst since I was relieved when I saw her awake…but she looked so broken.

"Ari?" I spoke up first.

She jumped a little, but then smiled when she saw us.

"What happened?" Carlos asked, concern written on his face.

"I got hurt." She said shrugging.

"We know that," Logan said rolling his eyes. "But how did you get _this_ hurt?"

"Uh…well…" She started her words getting choppy. "I was practicing a new lift, with my dance partner, and I got dropped."

"And just _that_ gave you all those injuries?" Logan asked not convinced.

Arianna just nodded sadly.

"Uh guys?" I said catching their attention. "Can you guys give us some time please?"

They all looked at me skeptically. Then they looked at Arianna, she nodded quickly.

"And can Carlos stay too?" She asked softly.

Everyone just nodded and left, leaving Carlos, Arianna, and I alone.

"Uh no offense," Carlos started confused. "But why did you ask me to be here also?"

"Because out of everyone, you two are my closest friends." She said.

"Ari," I started. "I know you're lying."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said not meeting any of our eyes.

"Come on Ari, even I knew that you were lying." Carlos said.

"Then if I was apparently lying, why don't you enlighten me on how I got hurt." She said crossing her arms.

"Your boyfriend." I said sadly.

She just glared at me…pretty nastily might I add.

"Jake would never hurt me." She said.

"You sure?" Carlos added.

"Positive." She said now glaring at Carlos.

"Then explain your wrist the other day." He said

"I told you, I fell down some steps no big deal." She said shrugging.

"Really now," Carlos said crossing his arms. "Cause you told me that you fell during a routine."

"Same thing I fell alright." She said getting annoyed.

"Ari," I said grabbing her hand. "We can help you get away. We can stop him from doing any more damage."

"Jake wouldn't hurt me!" She yelled taking her hand back. "He loves me."

"Then where is he." I said softly.

"Maybe he doesn't know yet." She said defending him.

"Arianna stop," Carlos said. "We know he's hurting you. He can go to jail if he's hurting you. If you just tell Gustavo or Griffin then-"

"SHUT UP!" She said getting angry. "He isn't hurting me, I got hurt, and lets leave at that."

"But we know that isn't true." I said trying to convince her.

"Get out." She venomously said.

"But Ari-" I tried once more time.

"I said get out!" She snapped, pointing towards the door.

"Fine, but we're still here for you Ari." Carlos said taking my arm.

When we walked outside we saw that everyone was up against the wall. We knew that they were eavesdropping.

"So I'm guessing you heard all that?" I asked already knowing.

They just nodded sheepishly. I just shook my head and collapsed into the nearest chair. I saw that Kendall sat next to me.

"Are you ok?" He asked concerned.

"I'm just really worried about her you know." I said looking down.

"Hey," He said grabbing my chin making me look at him. "It's going to be ok. Soon, she'll come to her senses and seek help."

"And if she doesn't." I said doubting him.

"Then we'll find proof, and bring the help to her." Kendall said smiling.

"Well aren't you optimistic." I said smiling also.

"Just one of my amazing traits." He said jokingly.

"I love you." I said kissing him.

"I love you too." He said when we pulled apart.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that. I kissed him one more time and laid my head on his shoulder, with his arm around me. I started to think about Arianna. She's in some serious trouble. I wish I can do something about it. Unfortunately, like Kendall said, I have to wait until the time is right.

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**Ok so I'm really sorry for the really long wait. School has been so overwhelming. Between kickline competitions, school work, homework, and exams, free time has been really limited. So I hope you like this chapter!**

**Btw, I'm really not happy at the outcome of the KCA's, personally I think Big Time Rush should of won at least one of their categories. **

**Review! =)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks Evie's-Off-The-Chain, Egbw13, The Devil Inside, Sum1cooler, TheMelodyInMyHead, SixOfSpades, Theyreallygone, JamesMaslowBTR100, Demon'sAngel17, Magichalo, and Sir RCCS for the amazing reviews!**

**James POV**

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It has been several weeks since Ari's accident and things are semi back to normal. She's out of the hospital and in therapy for her injuries. Even though everyone knows what happened, we stayed out of it like we promised. Everyone is trying to forget it ever happened.

Today is actually a special day. It's me and Kendall's first date. We've been together for a month now and we haven't been on an actual date…stupid right? Anyway I'm not sure what we're doing but Kendall said he figured it out. I trust him.

"So James," Carlos said walking into my room. "Excited for your big date!"

"Yeah, but I have nothing to wear!" I exclaimed going through my closet. "Kendall failed to tell me where we are going so I'm drawing a blank."

"Let me see." He said pushing me out of the way.

He started muttering to himself as he was picking. I don't know why I was freaking; I mean this is Kendall, my best friend since pre-K.

"Ok if you really want to wow Kendall," He started. "Then wear these black skinnies. Also, since you're superstitious about things, wear your lucky white v-neck with this black jacket."

I looked over what he picks out and decided that it was…really perfect.

"Wait what about shoes?" I asked nervously.

"Well since Kendall loves them," He said pulling out shoes. "Wear these black vans and you're all set."

"Thanks Carlos," I said hugging him. "What would I do without you?"

"Having panic attacks," He joked pulling back from the hug. "Now get ready buddy."

I just smiled as he walked out.

**(Normal POV)**

"Ugh I hope Kendall isn't freaking out like this." Carlos said walking into his room.

_Meanwhile_

"Logan I'm freaking out!" Kendall exclaimed.

"What, why?" Logan asked confused.

"Because nothing is going right," He said pacing back and forth. "Tonight has to be perfect."

"Why it's not like you're asking him to marry you?" He said. "Wait, you're not right?"

"What?" Kendall exclaimed and stopped pacing. "No, of course not. It's just, it's our first date and I'm still trying to prove that I really do love him and I'm not going to break his heart."

Logan just sighed.

"Even though I'm sure you don't," He started. "What happened?"

"Ok well the place we were supposed to eat at lost our reservation, I still don't know what to wear, and Bitters is being a jackass and won't let me set up a spot at the park so plan B is dead." Kendall said freaking out.

"Ok first take a deep breath," Logan said holding Kendall's shoulders. "Second, you figure out what to wear and Carlos and I will take care of everything ok?"

"You sure?" Kendall asked not sure.

"Yes now go." Logan said with a smile.

Kendall smiled and left. Logan let out a large sigh and pulled out his cell.

"Carlos babe, we got a lot of work to do."

_That Night._

"Ok so you know what to do right?" Logan asked Kendall.

"Yep, and thanks so much for everything. I owe you guys' big time." Kendall said hugging Carlos and Logan.

"No prob dude," Carlos said smiling. "You guys are our buds and this night should be perfect."

"Thanks," Kendall smiled. "So how do I look?"

Kendall finally decided to also wear his black skinny jeans, but with a tight blue/green flannel shirt with a white wife beater underneath. Lastly, he wore his new converse to complete the outfit.

"You look hot man." Logan said.

"Yeah, James is going to drool when he sees you." Carlos added.

"Alright thanks," Kendall said sighing. "Now go, he's going to be here any minute."

"Ok fine, we're leaving." Logan said dragging Carlos out with him.

When they left, Kendall looked around one last time. Making sure everything is absolutely perfect.

'_Everything is going to be just fine.' _Kendall thought to reassure himself.

**(James POV)**

Its 7 o'clock which means that it's time for my date with Kendall. I'm all dressed and my hair is perfectly styled. When I walked out of the elevator, I got bombarded from Logan and Carlos.

"Hey James," They said at the same time. "Kendall is waiting for you at the pool."

I just nodded as they left. I took a deep breath and walked outside. When I did, I was breathless.

The entire Palm Woods pool was decorated. There were candles lit up all around and on every pool table. There were also lights hanging from the walls and bushes. As I walked more outside, I saw there was a rose petal trail leading up to a table on the other side of the pool under a tent. There was only one thing missing…Kendall.

"Ken?" I asked into the air.

"Turn around." Said a smooth voice.

I turned around and saw Kendall standing there holding up a red rose. I was awe struck at what I saw. He looked amazing.

"Wow Ken." That is all the words that would come out of my mouth.

"James," He said handing me the rose. "You look beautiful."

"So do you." I said taking the rose.

He smiled and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

"Well let's eat." Ushering me to the table and the end of the trail.

When we got to the table, Kendall pulled out my chair as I sat down. Whoever says chivalry is dead, has never met Kendall Knight. He pulled the cover off my plate which revealed a hot plate of pasta with, which I'm pretty sure is, Mama Knight's homemade red sauce. Along with some garlic bread. My mouth was watering just by looking at it.

Dinner was amazing! The whole time Kendall would either hold my hand or we would just talk about random things. When we finished with our dinner, Kendall clapped twice and out came, strangely, Buddha Bob in a tux. He took our plates and put down another one. This one was chocolate covered strawberries…yum!

"Ok I have to ask." I said when Buddha Bob left.

"Ask away." Kendall said taking a strawberry.

"How the hell did you pull this off?" I asked gesturing to around us.

"Well, setting up was the easy part, actually figuring it out was difficult," He said with a smile. "First I had to ask my Mom to help me make the food. Then I bargained with Buddha Bob with 20 bucks. Finally, I had Logan and Carlos trick Mr. Bitters so now he is currently stuck in a closet."

"Haha you would." I said laughing.

"Only the best for you baby." He said grabbing my hand and kissing it.

I blushed when he did this. Seriously only he can turn me into mush.

"You're so cute when you blush." Kendall said.

"Please I'm not that cute." I said looking down.

"Hey," He said reaching over to pick up my head. "Don't ever say that."

"But it's true," I said detaching myself from his gaze. "And don't say otherwise or say I'm perfect because I'm not."

Kendall then stood up, came to me, and pulled me out of my seat…our hands entwined.

"You're right, you're not perfect," He said looking into my eyes. "But it's those imperfections that make you amazing in everyway."

I looked down again, blushing. He lightly touched my cheek to make me look at him again.

"And fine you aren't cute," He said. "You are absolutely beautiful. With your soft skin, your, always perfect, hair, that cute nose, thousand white smile that makes me weak in the knees, and your gorgeous hazel eyes. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. Don't you EVER forget that. You're beautiful and perfect in my eyes."

I felt the tears coming to my eyes. No one has ever said that to me.

"I really do love you James." He said softly.

"I love you too Kendall," I said breathlessly. "So fucking much."

He smiled and then kissed me passionately. Like he's never kissed me before. He wrapped his arms around my neck and played with my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. I felt is tongue poke at my mouth and I accepted it greatly.

During our kiss, I felt the sparks and fireworks you see in movies. I think he did also since I heard him moan. Unfortunately air is need so we had to pull apart. We looked at each other, our breaths ragged.

"James?" Kendall said looking into my eyes.

"Yeah?" I said looking into his.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked, sounding upset.

"Anything." I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"I know it's stupid for me to be saying this, considering everything that we've been through, but I'm going to say it anyway," He said taking a breath. "Promise me you won't ever leave me. I love you so much and I can't stand the chance of losing you."

"I promise, I love you too much to leave you." I said kissing him again.

I seriously think we're going to make it now. We're going to be fine…hopefully.

* * *

**(Normal POV)**

Carlos and Logan were seeing how the date was going from the apartment window.

"What are they doing now?" Carlos asked.

"They are eating dinner and smiling." Logan said smiling also.

"So it's going well?" Carlos asked.

"Yep!" Logan exclaimed happily.

"So they are going to be down there for a while." Carlos said wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

"I would think so." Logan said.

"So what do you think we can do to pass time?" Carlos asked seductively.

"I can think of something." Logan said smirking.

Carlos kissed him and when they pulled away, Logan took Carlos into their bedroom.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked this one. Plus I had to add that Cargan moment! I think it makes up for my long absence and my ok chapter before. I'm pretty proud of this one. Inspiration just hit me like a truck. Especially since school has been lax!**

**Review! =)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks Magiccatprinces, Tall Blonde and Eyebrows, Theyreallygone, Sum1cooler, Demon'sAngel17, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Sir RCCS, TheMelodyInMyHead, MudMaster94, and Wild Dreams93 for the awesome reviews.**

**James POV**

* * *

Have you ever had that moment in your life where everything is perfect? Where nothing can go wrong and you're in complete bliss. Yeah, that's exactly how my life can be described…just perfect.

Kendall and I are just perfectly amazing. We have been going strong for about three months and I can't ask for more. Also I haven't had the urge to burn, or hurt myself in general, since Kendall and I even got together. Gustavo is actually starting to compliment us…well in Gustavo's own way. Just everything is perfect, I can't possibly ask for more.

"Hey, babe." Kendall said sitting next to me on the couch.

"Hey." I said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"So what's up?" He asked putting his arm around me.

"Well I'm trying to watch Step Brothers, but I keep getting distracted." I said looking at him.

It didn't really matter since it was almost over anyway.

"Really now," He said smirking. "By who?"

"By my beautiful and amazing boyfriend." I said kissing him.

"Well than why even bother." He said turning off the TV.

"Exactly what I was thinking." I said pulling him on top of me.

We started to kiss passionately, which ended in an intense make out session with him on top of me. We parted for air and he started to attack my neck. I groaned in pleasure. He raised himself and smirked down at me.

"I left a hickey." He said straddling me.

"Kendall!" I exclaimed sitting up grabbing my neck.

"I like it." He said pushing me down. "It shows that you're mine and no one else's."

"I've always been yours; you don't have to mark me to prove it." I said kissing him.

We started to make out again, but as we were, I felt Kendall's hands go up my shirt and up my back. I started to shiver because his fingers were gently brushing my back. When we broke apart, it was my turn to attack his neck. As I was, his hands traveled down and grabbed my ass and squeezing it. Whoa too far.

"Whoa Kendall," I said detaching my lips from his neck. "Too far."

"Sorry babe." He said taking his hands off. "You just turn me on so much."

"Yeah but I think we should wait before we do that stuff." I said looking into his eyes.

"Of course," He said "We'll wait as long as you want."

"Thanks Ken," I said kissing him one last time. "I love you."

"I love you too," He said getting off me. "Let's see what's on."

He turned the TV back on and saw that Step Brothers ended, but the 6 Harry Potter was started. Kendall smiled and put his arm around me. I snuggled into his chest smiling also. Just perfect.

* * *

**Ok so this was just a filler chapter. I don't know why but I felt like it was needed. **

**So Review! =)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks Sum1cooler, Theyreallygone, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, EvieWannaBeFamous, Storylover158, Demon'sAngel17, TheMelodyInMyHead, and MudMaster94 for the awesome reviews.**

**James POV**

* * *

You know, no matter how many times you're in the studio, you'll never get used to Gustavo's voice. He currently has me recording solo vocals…yay.

"James!" He yelled. "I'm done with you today, go home."

"Great job James." Kelly said giving me a sympathetic look.

I sighed a breath of relief and left the booth. As I was leaving, I saw someone in the dance studio. When I looked in I saw it was Arianna. I haven't seen her since the incident. She's back a little too soon.

"Ari?" I asked.

She turned around and smiled.

"James," She said giving me a hug. "It's so great to see you again."

"Same," I said breaking the hug. "But aren't you back a little too soon."

"Come on you know me," She said giving me a smile. "A few little injuries won't keep me out."

"Well glad to have our choreographer back." I said giving her another hug.

"Glad to be back," She said breaking the hug. "Now you and Kendall spill."

"Haha shush." I said blushing.

"Well let him know that if he hurts you, I'll kick his ass," She said. "Hey do you need a ride?"

"Uh sure thanks." I said smiling.

On the way back to the Palmwoods, Arianna and I started catching up. Talking about things we missed and such forth. I made sure to steer clear of that night in a hospital. Like I said, when she's ready she'll talk.

"Well here we are," She said pulling up. "Bye James, it was great talking to you again."

"Same," I said waving. "Bye Ari."

She waved back then drove away. Ari and I are actually close friends now. So seeing her better makes me happy.

Kendall and the guys said they were by the pool and I guess I'll go there first. I saw Carlos sitting on Logan's lap all wrapped up in each other.

"Hey guys, have you seen Kendall?" I asked.

"Uh nope uh haven't seen him." They said quickly.

"You sure he said he would be here." I said.

"Uh well he isn't." Logan said, quickly again.

I saw Carlos's gaze look past me. I followed it and that's where I saw it. Kendall and, who seems to be, the new girl sitting at a table rather closely. Her right hand was on his thigh and her left was twirling her hair. She kept smiling and giggling and Kendall appeared to be too. He made no movement to remove her hand either.

Everyone in the Palmwood knows Kendall is mine, so I don't know who the hell this girl thinks she is. All of the sudden, I saw her whisper into his ear and then…kissed him! He didn't even push her away right away.

"KENDALL!" I yelled.

He quickly pushed her away and stood up.

"James it's not what it looked like." He said making his way over to me.

"Not what it looks like?" I repeat back to him. "Because it looks like you were kissing that slut over there."

"No James you don't understand-" He started.

"I'm your boyfriend Kendall," I screamed. "Or did you forget, even after three and a half months!"

"Of course not James." He said.

"Then what the fuck was that?" I yelled.

"She kissed me I didn't kiss her." He tried to explain.

"But I didn't see you pulling away." I said not buying his bullshit.

"Look James." He said touching my arm.

"Don't touch me you bastard!" I yelled jerking back. "Don't ever touch me again!"

With that I ran. I don't know where but I just ran.

* * *

I ended up in Palmwoods Park. I collapse onto a bench and cried. How could Kendall do this to me, after everything we've been through? He was the one that told ME not too leave him and then he does this. I can't believe I trusted him and actually thought that he loved me. That fucking asshole.

I really feel the urge to burn right now. I haven't done it in awhile but I need to. I need to counteract this pain with that pain. Unfortunately, I don't have a lighter and the clip to burn myself. I tried to look for something sharp to cut myself with but I couldn't. I looked at the tree in front of me. I thought for a second and just did it on impulse. I screamed and punched the tree as hard I could. It hurt like a bitch but it felt good. I saw that my hand was bruised and bleeding, it's probably broken but I don't care.

"JAMES!" A voice yelled.

I looked behind me and saw Kendall running towards me.

"Don't even bother Kendall." I said as he came closer to me.

"James please let me explain." He said.

"Why should I?" I asked rhetorically. "You flirted and kissed another girl right in front of me. It's not even like we hid our relationship so no one knew about it, we are out Kendall…or at least we were."

"No James don't say that." He said reaching out for my arm.

"I told you not to touch me!" I yelled take my arm back.

"Will you please let me talk." He said.

"I'm done Kendall," I said throwing my hands up and walking away. "I loved you so damn much, but obviously that meant nothing to you."

"Yes it did James," He said following me. "I love you too."

"No you don't since you kiss other sluts you see." I said turning around.

"She kissed me I didn't kiss her." He said.

"But you were the one who didn't pull away UNTIL I called your name." I said walking backwards.

"I was in shock please believe me James." He said with tears in his eyes.

"You know what Kendall I'm done," I said walking into the street. "So go off and continue making out with your little whore."

"She means nothing James, and please get out of the street." He said.

"Of course she doesn't Kendall." I said sarcastically still standing where I am.

"She doesn't, now get out of the damn street." He said using his hands.

"Whatever I don't really care anymore," I said walking backwards again. "So take this a shove up your ass."

I flipped him off then.

"James get out of the street now!" He yelled.

All of the sudden I hear a honk behind me. I turned around to see what it was.

I saw headlights.

I heard someone scream my name.

Then blackness.

* * *

**So please don't kill me. I had to ok it just fit. So if you could can you keep the flames and hate mail to a minimum please. Haha so I hope you enjoyed the chapter**

**Review! =)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks Gotta Live It Big Time, Demon'sAngel17, IXshadowkissedXI, child who is cool, SixOfSpades, Sum1cooler, Pained Past97, unnaturalstories, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Magiccatprinces, MagicHalo, Sir RCCS, Anonymous Freshman, MudMaster94, TheMelodyInMyHead, and Theyreallygone for the increible reviews.**

**Normal POV**

* * *

Silence, besides the sound of silent sobs, was all you heard in the waiting room of the LA hospital. There you would see Logan with his arm around Carlos while he cried into Logan's shoulder and he comforted him, Katie on Mrs. Knight's lap crying into her shoulder, and finally you would see Kendall sitting away from everyone staring at the floor, face emotionless. Kelly and Gustavo were stuck in traffic but they were informed.

"How is he?" Arianna asked running in. "Did you hear anything?"

Everyone just shook their heads, not trusting their voices. Arianna just sighed sadly and looked at Kendall. She slowly made her way over to him and silently sat next to him.

"You want to tell me what happened?" She asked softly.

Kendall just stayed silent.

"Ken?" She asked.

Again silence.

"Come on Kendall," She said putting her arm around him. "You can tell me."

"Why aren't you yelling at me?" He asked lowly, voice hoarse. "You know what happened, so why aren't you yelling and cursing me out?"

"What kind of friend would I be if I did that?" She asked rhetorically

"A good one," He said refusing to meet her eyes. "Besides I deserve it."

"Yelling at you won't change what happened; I just want your side of the story." She said.

"What side is there, I fucked up and James gets hit by a car!" He said throwing his hands up.

"Kendall," She said putting her hand in his shoulder. "There's a lot more to the story."

"Well I was by the pool and this girl came up to me," H started. "We started talking and she told me she was new. Then she told me she had an audition and asked if we could practice. I mean she even had a script and everything. So we were practicing and the scene was a girl hitting on a guy. Then all of the sudden she kissed me. That wasn't even in the script. It happened all so fast, I was in shock. I didn't have time to react. The only time I did was when James yelled my name. He ran, we fought, and then James…h-he…"

He was interrupted by his own tears. Arianna put her arm around him and let him cry into her shoulder.

"It's ok Kendall," She said rubbing his arm. "I believe you."

He didn't respond, he just cried and cried.

"I-I love him, A-Ari." He choked out.

"I know Kendall," She said rubbing his back. "I know."

Everyone waited hours before the doctor came out.

"Family of James Diamond?" He asked us.

"I'm his guardian." Mrs. Knight said.

"Well you can all breathe as he is still alive," The doctor started. "Mr. Diamond did however suffer a severe head injury that required 15 stitches in his head. He also broke three of his ribs and dislocated his shoulder. He did need surgery to contain some minor internal bleeding but that is nothing to worry about. The one problem I do have is the fact that he did not wake up yet. I'm most positive he will, but there is still the possibility he might not."

"C-Can we see h-him?" Carlos asked timidly.

"Of course you can son." The doctor said softly.

Slowly, they all made their way into James hospital room. Once they walked into that room, the sobs started up again.

There lay James. He had bandages on his head, and ribs, and a cast on his left shoulder and right leg. His body was covered in bruises and his usual golden brown skin was now just ghostly white.

That's all Kendall could take before he ran out of the room. Carlos and Logan just nodded and left. They followed Kendall into the nearest bathroom.

"Dude," Logan said. "What happened back there?"

"What happened?" Kendall asked rhetorically with tears in his eyes. "What happened was that I saw the guy I love in a fucking hospital bed. I saw the guy I love covered in injuries that he doesn't deserve. What happened was I saw my best friend and the guy that I am in love with get hurt because I'm such a fuck up. If there is anyone that should be fighting for their life right now, is me. I don't deserve to live after what I did!"

"Come on Kendall," Carlos said. "Don't say that."

"I should Carlos," Kendall said. "Because James doesn't deserve this at all. And if I just refused to run lines with that girl, like a good boyfriend, we wouldn't be in a hospital praying for James right now!"

"Kendall," Logan said putting his hand on his shoulder. "You are a good boyfriend. James just showed up at the wrong time."

Kendall just stayed silent. He looked at the mirror in front of him and quickly looked away.

"I can't stand to look at myself," He said looking down. "I'm disgusting."

"No you're not man," Carlos said lifting up Kendall's head. "Just look at yourself right now."

Kendall looked at the mirror in front of him and took a deep breathe. Before Carlos and Logan could do anything, Kendall punched the mirror…making it shatter.

"Kendall!" Logan and Carlos yelled.

"Are you retarded," Logan said taking Kendall's hand. "What would James say if he was here right now?"

"That I deserve it." He said mumbling.

"No, that you're stupid." Carlos said.

"And he doesn't mean stupid as in for doing what you did," Logan said wrapping Kendall's hand in paper towels. "That you're stupid for acting this way. It's not your fault and you better start believing it or I, and Carlos, will punch you. Got it?"

Kendall nodded.

"Good." Carlos said putting his hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"Now let's get this checked by a doctor." Logan said.

The three of them left to go to a doctor. They went to the same doctor that helped James. He just smiled sympathetically at Kendall and took him to get it bandaged. It didn't need to be stitched just wrapped.

"Alright we're all done," The doctor said when he finished wrapping Kendall's hand. "Now let's not do anything this stupid anymore ok?"

Kendall just nodded and left.

"Do you think you can go back in there?" Logan asked.

Kendall nodded looking down. When they walked in, Mrs. Knight saw Kendall's hand and gasped.

"Kendall!" She said. "What happened to your hand?"

He didn't answer, he just stared at James.

"Don't ask." Carlos said speaking up for Kendall.

"I think we should leave." Logan said gesturing to Kendall who is now sitting beside James.

Everyone just left silently.

When everyone left, Kendall slowly reached for James' hand. He made note to how cold and dry it was. It made Kendall shiver himself. It took him a while before he really looked at James. Even though he is covered with disgusting scratches, bruises, and bandages, he is still beautiful to Kendall. Kendall took a deep breath before he started to speak to him.

"Hey James," He said before taking another deep breath. "You need to wake up baby. You have to. Everyone is a mess. Katie isn't talking to anyone, Carlos is having trouble keeping it together, Logan is putting up a façade, my Mom is just trying to keep everyone sane, and me…let's just say I'm a mess. I was stupid enough to break a mirror out of frustration. As much as I hate to admit it, it felt good. I now know how you felt when you'd burn. It felt like a relief like something easy to control. But don't worry; I won't start harming myself…at least for your sake.

"Please baby you have to wake up. I love you so much and I know deep down you love me too. I'm so sorry I fucked up and that I'm such a jackass. But you have to believe me when I say that it was nothing. I swear it wasn't. She wanted to run lines with me and I said yes. I mean she had a script and everything. Then she just kissed me. I thought it was part of the script but I realize it wasn't. Then you showed up and my heart stopped. I knew from that moment that I was screwed and that there would be consequences but I never thought that it would end up by you getting hurt. I'm so sorry James, for everything. Me hurting you, me being the one who causes your self-harming, and I'm sorry that you got hit by a car. It should have been me I know and I'm sorry for that too.

"Please baby wake up. I don't know what will happen if you die. You can't die you can't. I love you so much please. If not for me, then wake up for everyone else. For your parents, Logan, Carlos, Katie, my Mom, Arianna, and just everyone in general. Wake up to live your dream and be the best James Diamond. You just need to live. If you die then I'm sorry I'm coming with you. Ok? Please wake up. You promised me you would never leave me. Please don't break it, you can't. You've never broken a promise, don't start now. I l-love you James, p-please wake up…please…" He broke off into soft sobs.

He kissed his hand and cried into it. It wasn't until he felt a faint squeeze that brought him back. He thought he imagined it which made him cry even more…in false hope.

"I wasn't planning on it jackass." A soft voice said.

Kendall lifted his head did he see James' hazel eyes shining at him.

"By the way…I love you too. I never stopped."

* * *

**Wow that took a while. I was actually tearing up towards the…maybe I'm just an overdramatic. Hope you like it!**

**Review! =)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks Gotta Live It Big Time, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, child who is cool, MudMaster94, SixOfSpades, Sum1cooler, Theyreallygone, MagicHalo, Magiccatprinces, Demon'sAngel17, TheMelodyInMyHead, Sir RCCS, and bigtimerusher for the incredible reviews.**

**Normal POV**

"By the way…I love you too. I never stopped."

"JAMES!" Kendall yelled hugging James tightly without hurting him. "Thank god you're ok!"

James hugged back with his good arm.

"So how much of that did you hear?" Kendall asked breaking the hug.

"Pretty much all of it." James said.

"Oh…so do you believe me?" Kendall asked not looking at James.

"Hey," He said picking up Kendall's head. "I do, whole heartedly. It's hard not to when you're sobbing uncontrollably and busting mirrors with your hand"

"Oh sorry about that." Kendall said blushing.

"Can I see?" James asked.

Kendall nodded and showed him his bandaged hand. James slowly and carefully unwrapped it so it can be wrapped again. When the bandaged came fully unwrapped, James gasped.

"Oh Kendall," He said examining his hand. "This will never happen again right?"

"It won't don't worry." Kendall said smiling.

"Good, we don't another self-harmer." James said jokingly.

"James I am so sorry for everything that has happened." Kendall apologized.

"Don't apologize Kendall," James said. "I believe and forgive you."

"I love you James."

"I love you too Kendall."

They then kissed each other passionately.

"I guess I should tell everyone that you're awake." Kendall said pulling away from the kiss.

"If you must." James said jokingly.

Kendall grinned and walked outside. When he came back in, he was followed by everyone including Kelly and Gustavo who just got there. After a few hugs, kisses, a 'don't ever do that again', and a 'are you stupid' from Gustavo, the doctor finally came in to check on him.

"Well James it looks like you're all good." The doctor said.

"So I can go home?" James asked excitedly.

"Unfortunately no, we still want to keep you here for observation." The doctor said.

"Well when can he leave?" Kendall asked.

"Tomorrow morning if nothing happens tonight." The doctor answered.

James just crossed his arms and huffed.

"Ok we'll leave you alone tonight James," Mrs. Knight said leaving the room. "Are you coming Kendall?"

"No I'm going to stay." Kendall said looking at James.

Mrs. Knight just smirked and left along with the others. When they left, James moved over in his bed and patted the empty space next to him. Kendall instantly jumped in and joined him on the bed. Kendall then cuddled into James' chest.

"Hey Kendall?" James asked.

"Yeah?" Kendall said resting his head onto James' collarbone.

"When I get better…I want to give myself to you fully." James said.

"James you don't have to…we've only been going out for three and half, almost four, months. We can wait if you want to." Kendall said

"But I want to," He said. "I love you Kendall and if getting hit by a car taught me anything it's you have to do things before you regret it."

"If you're sure, we'll do it." Kendall said reaching up to kiss James on the lips.

"I'm positive; I want to lose my virginity to you." James said smiling.

"And I'll be losing mine to you." Kendall said smiling.

"Wait you and Jo never…" James said.

"Nope never."

"Why?"

"Because we were never in love like you and I are." Kendall said kissing him.

"I loved you Kendall."

"I love you too James."

**Ok I know that…well that it sucked! I'm really sorry but writers block seriously sucks ass. Plus my computer got a virus and not to mention that school is ending so my teachers are HAMMERING me with work. I'm really sorry about this chapter but I promise that the next WILL be better when inspiration comes back. It will though, even if I have to force it to happen.**

**Oh and also, I entered a writing competition and I actually won. So now my piece is going to be published in an actual book! I know you probably don't care but I thought it was kind of cool and exciting. **

**Review! =)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks MudMaster94, TheMelodyInMyHead, Demon'sAngel17, Sum1cooler, child who is cool, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, ()?, I don't kow if these two people are the same but NcisFan98 (), and Sir RCCS for the awesome reviews.**

**James POV**

* * *

Today is finally the day I get to go home. I had to stay an extra day because something was going with my brain that they didn't like, but I'm all good now. It feels great to leave, but everyone is treating me like I'm fragile. Jeez it's not like I'm going to break in half if you touch me. Luckily my leg is only slightly sprained so I don't need a huge ass cast on it and I don't need crutches. Also my ribs didn't suffer a bad break, so now it's just a dull ache. I pretty much feel great.

I'm getting my stuff ready when Kendall walked in.

"Hey baby," He said giving me a kiss on the cheek. "You ready to go?"

"Yep, I can't wait to leave." I said smiling.

He just smiled and got my bag for me and went outside. I'm so glad that what I saw wasn't what I thought. It's just a huge relief that he isn't a cheater. I really do love him and I know he feels the same. That's why I want to give myself to him. He's my everything.

"James lets go my mom has the car ready." Kendall said sticking his head through the door.

I smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

"Now what was that for?" He asked when we pulled apart.

"Just wanted to." I said smirking.

"Well we can do that a lot more but first we have to get home." Kendall said grabbing my hand.

"Can't wait." I whispered in his ear.

The car ride home was silent, but it was a good silence. When we got back to our apartment, I was really surprised. The entire Palmwoods was there, even Kelly and Gustavo (with a pout on his face) were there. Along with a banner that say:

**Welcome Home James!**

"Wow guys," I said. "I was only gone for two days."

"We know but you were also hit by a car so you deserve a little something." Carlos said.

"Aw you guys are the best!" I gushed.

Thus the party began. Everyone started to mingle and ask how I was doing. It was really nice for everyone to do this for me.

"You like your surprise?" A voice said wrapping there arms around my waist.

"Kendall you did this?" I asked turning around.

"Of course, only the best for my boyfriend." He said kissing me.

Someone clearing their throat interrupted us. I was going to yell at them…but then I saw it was Arianna.

"Oh hey Ari." I said.

"Hey James, can we talk?" She asked timidly.

"Can it wait?" I asked gesturing to Kendall and me.

"Honestly it can't." She said.

"Well I'm going to make sure that Carlos hasn't broken anything yet." Kendall said walking away.

Arianna took my hand and brought us to my room. She pushed me onto the bed and sat down next to me.

"Ari, you know I don't play for that team." I said.

"James, it's not like that," She said looking down. "I just need to tell you something."

"You know you can tell me anything Ari," I said putting my arm around her. "You know that."

"I know," She said taking a deep breath. "I'm pressing charges against Jake."

"What?" I asked.

"I'm done feeling like I'm nothing and I'm not worth it. I want to be able to make my own decisions and live my own life. And I'm done being in constant pain."

"And the sudden change of heart is?" I asked.

"When I came home from the hospital the other day, he yelled at me. Apparently I'm cheating on him with you even though you're gay. By the way yes I told him that. But he didn't believe me. He proceeded to tell me that if I'm going to see any type of boys from now on, he has to be there. When I said no that's where the hitting started to happen. I thought about what happened to you and I thought that life is too short. And if I keep this up, my life will be very short. I'm just fed up." She said looking at her hands.

"I'm so proud of you Ari." I said hugging her.

"Thanks, I just thought I should tell you." She said finally smiling.

"I'm glad you did," I said kissing her head. "Now let's go party."

She laughed and followed me out. When we were back at the party, I immediately went to find Kendall. When I did, I turned him around and kissed him passionately.

"What was that for?" He asked smirking.

"Oh just cause," I said repeating myself from earlier. "But also for something else."

"And what is that?" He asked wrapping his arms around my neck.

"I want tonight to be the night." I said smiling.

"But what about your arm?" He asked.

"Then we'll work around it, but I really want tonight to be the night I give myself to you." I said wrapping my arms around his waist.

"But I had a whole romantic scenario when it happened." He whined.

"I don't want anything romantic or over the top," I said rolling my eyes. "I just want you and only you."

"But I'm still concerned about your shoulder." He rebutted.

"Kendall!" I shouted getting annoyed. "I only dislocated it. The doctors popped back in and it has been in a sling for two days. The doctor even said I could take it off tonight so it's perfect."

"Sorry, I'm just scared that I'll hurt you." He said not meeting my eyes.

"Hey, you won't ok?" I said bring his head up.

"Ok but you sure you want it to be tonight?" He asked.

I responded my kissing him. I instantly put my tongue in his mouth, which he accepted.

"Does that answer your question?" I asked smiling.

"Yes it does," He said returning my smile. "Now if you excuse me, I have to get ready for tonight."

"I said nothing crazy." I said.

"I know and it won't be, see you tonight." He kissed me one more time before leaving me.

Tonight will be very special.

* * *

The party didn't last that long. Soon everyone left.

"Well Carlos and I are going to go for the night." Logan said leaving.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked.

"Well tomorrow is Carlos' and I anniversary, so we got hotel room for tonight into tomorrow and tomorrow night." Logan said.

"Yeah we wanted to be alone and with each other for a while." Carlos said putting his arm around Logan.

"And Mrs. Knight said yes?" I asked out of shock.

"Well we've been dating for three years, as of tomorrow, and I can't get Carlos pregnant. So she thought it was alright." Logan said kissing Carlos' cheek.

"Well have fun then." I said winking at them.

"Yeah you too." Carlos said returning my wink.

"Bye guys." I said closing the door on them.

When I did, Kendall grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close to him. He kissed me then led me to our bedroom.

"Kendall, I said nothing over top." I exclaimed when I saw the bedroom.

"Hey compared to what I wanted to do, it isn't." Kendall said.

Our room was covered with candles lit and smelled amazing…vanilla I think. He pushed me on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Be as loud as you want, we have the whole place to ourselves." Kendall said smirking.

"What about Mrs. Knight and Katie?" I asked.

"My Mom and Katie left for a road trip to San Diego." He said kissing me.

"Perfect." I simply said when we pulled away.

"You're sure about this right?" He asked one last time.

"Positive," I said. "My arm feels amazing; I don't even need the sling. Plus, I know I'm ready and that I want this."

"Good," He smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." I kissed him passionately.

For the entire night, we made love. That's right. We didn't have sex…we made love. It hurt but then it felt good. We were finally one. That's how it's going to stay. Hopefully, no not hopefully. It WILL stay like that forever.

* * *

**Sorry I can't write smut for the life of me. It just doesn't work out. Sorry for everyone who was disappointed. And another sorry. This story is coming to an end. I think like only one more chapter and then it's over. So look out!**

**Review! =)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks EvilGeniusBookWorm13, MudMaster94, ncisfan98 (), Sum1cooler, child who is cool, Demon'sAngel17, bigtimerusher, Wild Dreams93, MagicHalo, (), and TheMelodyInMyHead for the amazing reviews!**

**So this is it guys! Last chapter! Also, if you want to read, I have a super long a/n at the bottom!**

**James POV**

* * *

Two years. Kendall and I have been going out for two years. Two amazing years. I couldn't ask for more. I'm just still amazed that we're still going strong. Today is actually our two year anniversary.

A lot has happened in the past two years. I guess I should start from the beginning:

Logan and Carlos are still together surprisingly. Personally I think it's cute, to love someone that much for five years. Now I'm just waiting for them to get married already. I mean come on they are perfect for each other.

Arianna finally went to court against her boyfriend. Well I guess now ex-boyfriend. Either way he's never going to see her again. Her got convicted and is now in jail. It took her awhile, but she finally moved on. She's currently dating a guy named Brian. He seems like a cool guy, and he respects her past as well as her career. So we'll see with that.

Other than that, everything is pretty much the same. Katie is still a trouble maker and Mrs. Knight is still our care taker. Even though we're 18.

We're actually thinking about moving into our own apartment since we're old enough. Maybe in a couple of months. We first have to learn how to take care of ourselves first.

This leads to now, now as in me staring at Kendall as he sleeps. I know it may seem creepy, but he's just so cute when he's asleep. I do this a lot when he's sleeping and I'm not. I know…creepy.

"Stop staring," Kendall said waking up. "I'm not that cute when I'm sleeping."

"You are to me," I said giving him a morning kiss. "Morning."

"Morning," He said smiling. "So what were you thinking about, you know while you were staring?"

"Just about how amazing these two years have been," I said kissing him again. "Happy anniversary by the way."

"Happy anniversary babe," He said getting out of bed. "By the way, start getting ready."

"So what are the plans for today?" I asked getting out of bed also.

"Now when have I ever answered that question?" He said throwing a shirt at me.

"Can't blame a guy for asking," I said getting my clothes together. "So I'm taking a shower, are you going to join me?"

"Babe, you don't even have to ask." He said kissing me.

I smirked and walked into the shower with him. Yep, today is going to be a good day.

* * *

We have a day off today (courtesy of Kelly) so it works out perfectly for Kendall and me. We could have the entire day to ourselves.

"So can you please tell me what we're doing today?" I asked desperately while eating breakfast.

"Nope!" He said smiling.

"Can I get a hint?" I pleaded.

"It's fun." He said winking.

"Oh wow thanks," I said sarcastically. "But nothing too expensive please."

"Don't worry, nothing too over the top or expensive. It's actually quite casual." He said kissing my cheek.

"Really now? That's different than usual," I said pleased. "But I'm glad. I hate when you spend so much on me."

"Yep and we're leaving at around four, so we can just hang around till then." He said putting our dishes in the sink.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said putting my arms around him from the back.

"You better not." He said turning around and kissing me.

I immediately put my tongue in his mouth. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around his waist, pulling him in tighter.

"I love you." I said when we pulled apart for air.

"I love you too." He said kissing me again.

* * *

"Come on Kendall really?" I asked.

"Yes really, now put it on." He said.

I just sighed and took the blind fold.

"Thank you! Now was that so hard." Kendall said after I put it on.

"But is it really necessary?" I asked as he led me to the car.

"Yes it is now stop complaining." He said closing the door of his car.

Last year he got his license and bought himself a car. He practically treats it like his baby. He almost loves that thing more than me…almost.

"So when can I take this thing off?" I asked.

"In a little bit, we're almost there." He said grabbing my hand.

I just sighed and waited to get to our destination.

"Ok we're here." He said parking the car.

I heard him get out of the car and walk over to my side. He opened my door and took my hand. He led me out of the car carefully and closed my door for me.

"Ok now you can take off your blindfold." He said.

I did as I was told, and I was pretty shocked. He took me to a…carnival, a carnival that's taking place by a pier.

"Is this ok?" He asked concerned that he screwed up.

"No it's fine…but I'm confused you can say." I said taking his for reassurance.

"Well it's just last year I went all out and, even though you loved it, you said that even though that romantic stuff is cute…that is just not your style. You said that as long as you're with the person you love…every date can be romantic. Also I know how much you love carnivals whenever they were around. So I just thought-"

I silenced him with a kiss.

"I love it," I said pulling apart. "It's perfect ok."

He just nodded and smiled.

"Well then come on," I said taking his hand. "We have a whole carnival to explore."

We winded up having a great time. We went on all the rides except the Ferris wheel (Kendall is afraid of heights) and the Merry-Go-Round (hello we're not 5). Of course, Kendall also _had_ to win me a stuffed animal, a stuffed bear to be exact. It wasn't one of those humongous ones either; it was medium sized and perfect. We also ate a churro because, come on, what's a trip to the carnival without a churro.

"Hey lets sit on the docks and watch the sunset." Kendall said.

"Sure let's go." I said taking his hand.

We decided to sit at the edge of the dock, with our feet dangling. We put his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder. The sunset is absolutely stunning. A mixture of pinks, oranges, yellows, and light blues all sitting on the water.

"Wow," I spoke up. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it really is." Kendall said softly.

I can tell he isn't looking at the sunset.

"I know I'm beautiful, but how about you look at the sunset and see the beauty in that." I said lifting my head.

"What makes you think I wasn't looking at the sunset?" He said not meeting my eyes.

'Babe, you're blushing." I said kissing his cheek.

"Well, I was only speaking the truth." He said kissing me.

"I love you." I said when he pulled away.

"I love you too." He whispered.

He then just let out a shaky sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just scared that I'm going to chicken out." He said looking down.

"Chicken out of what?" I asked trying to meet his eyes.

He let out another breath, and he finally met my eyes.

"I'm going to say something and you can't interrupt at all." Kendall said turning to face me.

"I won't," I said turning towards him also. "I promise.

"Ok here I go," He then took my hand. "James, you know I love you with all my heart. I also know that you love me. It's just, I'm so in love with you. I love the way you're so passionate about your music. I love the way you don't give a damn about what people think about you. I love the way you're so care free and confident about yourself. I even love the way you love yourself. I love how you stand up for the people that you care about and make them feel like they matter. I love the way you play with your hair and your voice goes three octaves higher when you're nervous or embarrassed. I even love the way when you're vulnerable you look like a said puppy who needs a hug, which I'm always glad to give. Nothing is going to change that. You're my everything and more. I know that we are going to last a long time. It's a gut feeling that I know won't ever leave."

I stayed silent and motionless like he asked. Even though I was screaming on the inside. Also there were a few tears that were pushing their way through my eyes.

"I know we're way too young to even think about marriage but," He paused to reach into his pocket and pull something out. I couldn't see because he had a fist clenched. "I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up everyday I'm alive, see you sleeping next to me, and knowing that you're mine and no one elses. So instead of giving you and engagement ring, I bought these instead."

He opened his fist and in them were two, shiny, sliver, plain rings.

"What are these?" I asked in shock.

"These are promise rings," He said smiling. "They mean that you'll promise to stick by me till death do we part. They mean I promise to always love you no matter what. That I'll stay faithful to you. They mean that we'll promise to be together no matter what. So James Isaac Diamond, will you be my promise?"

I just stared at the rings in shock. This can't be happening; it's just a dream that I'm going to wake up from. I tried to pinch myself, but I feel the pain. It's definitely real. Finally, the tears come out.

"Yes Kendall," I finally said. "I will be your promise."

Kendall then kisses me passionately. I kiss back immediately. He pulled away grinning mad and tears in his eyes. He slowly takes my right hand and puts it on my ring finger. I also did the same the with his left hand and ring finger. I took our hands and clasped them together. I looked at his ring and noticed that there are words on it.

"Kendall, what's on the ring?" I asked.

"Oh! I almost forgot," He said separating our hands and taking off the ring. "It says 'Je vais vous aimer pour toujours' which is French for 'I'll love you forever'."

I looked at my ring, and it said that also. I grabbed Kendall by his shirt and kissed him again.

"I am so in love with you Kendall Donald Knight." I said as we pulled apart.

"I love you too James Isaac Diamond," He said clasping our ringed hands. "Forever."

* * *

**Omg I'm finally done. I tried to make the last chapter one of the better chapters of the story. Really hope I succeded! I honestly can't believe I'm done. Now that I am…I need to say some things:**

**I want to thank all my reviewers that have ever reviewed for this story. You guys mean a lot to me. You're the reason why this story kept going. I love you guys so much. I took every review to heart, even the flamers. It got to the point where some of them made me want to cry (in a good way though). Also thanks for being so patient with me with my lone updates. I also just want to say it's so overwhelming knowing that I got over 150 reviews, hell over 100. I honestly expected a maximum and little bit over, of 50 reviews considering it was my first story. Just thanks so much for that, it means a lot!**

**I also want to thank everyone who story alerted or favored this story. That meant a lot also. I love you guys just as much because you actually liked this story also. **

**Thanks everyone for everything! I love you guys and I will be back with more stories and a shit load of one-shots that are in my head and need to be online!**

**Thanks loves! =)**


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